How often the mind vacillates and before we know it we find ourselves either patting our own backs or resorting to self-deprication.
As I approach 40 I find myself struggling more and more with vanity; not so much in comparison to others but in comparison to what I 'used' to be. Youth is slipping from my grasp and the feeling leaves me dizzy with doubts about ever facet of my life.
On days when I manage to tick off several things on the 'To Do' list, I feel accomplished, add to that a workout and some healthy meals - empowered, throw in some time alone with my Father and I am really walking tall.
Not that it is a bad day when that happens but I find myself vacillating between two extremes. One the one hand, pushing myself to standards I can no longer keep and the other taking credit for what I have managed to do.
What I need, balance!
Stubborn pride compels me to excel - vanity to regain my youth - pride to be accomplished.
So maybe I need to learn to abide. To stop right here in this moment and enjoy my laugh lines for what they are - the trade mark of a lot of joy. Rest in the moments when I can hold my loved ones instead of fold some laundry or answer an email.
He says take my yoke and find rest for my soul. (Matt. 11:29) If I abide in Him and He in me then all that is within me makes me beautiful, accomplished, and empowered. Wow! Nothing I did, but all within me because of Him.
There's my balance, I have been weighed and measured and Christ cleared the scale. Amen!
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